Sunday, November 25, 2018

John Dennis Crede Webster, R.I.P.

I had the painful privilege this morning of celebrating the funeral Mass for my brother-in-law Dennis, the husband of my middle sister, Nancy, and father of my niece Kimberly.

The liturgy was attended not only by his sister Jean, her husband David Topham and their three children, but by his three step-siblings who converged from various points on the globe to be with us.

My homily attempted to connect the events of Dennis's life, as narrated in Jean's printed eulogy, to the scripture readings chosen for the funeral.

Here, first, are Jean's words...

As I sit here at three in the morning in the quiet of my home in Victoria, I would like to tell you a little bit about my dear brother, a wonderfully kind and gentle man.

Dennis was born in Nairobi, Kenya on March 27th, 1950 to Dennis and Renee Webster. When Dennis was two years old our father died of cerebral malaria.

Because our mother was not well and unable to look after us we were sent to Wales to live with my grandmother. After our grandmother died in 1956, Dennis and I were brought to Canada by an Aunt and Uncle (Joya and Ouvry Roberts).

Dennis attended three schools, Athlone and St. Georges in Vancouver, and Vernon Prep in Vernon. Dennis found school challenging but as he said to me recently “I just drew on some inner strength and got through it.” During his teenage years Dennis loved swimming and reading, and was endlessly taking things apart and putting them back together again – a skill that served him well once he became a home owner and had to fix appliances, cars and stereo systems.

After leaving school Dennis worked on a number of ranches in the B.C. Interior. However, ranching was not for him so he decided to join the Canadian Army. Again calling on his 'inner strength' he got though Basic Training and spent five years in the army, during which time he spent six months in Jamaica.
   
In 1974 Dennis left the army and did a number of jobs in Edmonton before returning to Vancouver where he got a job at Commercial Electronics installing stereo equipment – a job he loved because he could indulge two of his passions: stereos and music.

Dennis had always harbored a desire to drive big rig trucks and so during his time at Commercial, having inherited some money, he gave himself driving lessons and succeeded in obtaining a Class 1 License – no mean feat.

While working at Commercial he joined a cycling club where he met his future beloved wife Nancy. They were married on August 27th, 1988. Not only did Dennis gain a wife he also gained a wonderful family who loved and supported him. On January 21st, 1991 Kimberly was born and so now their little family was complete. Dennis told me on numerous occasions that Kimberly was 'the light of his life'.


It was Nancy who encouraged Dennis to apply to be a bus driver with B.C. Transit. His application being successful, Dennis was to spend the next 27 years as a bus driver for B.C. Transit, a job he loved.

In 2016 Dennis retired from bus driving and he and Nancy moved to their lovely new home in New Westminster. They purchased wonderful new electric bikes and Dennis spent many happy hours exploring new places and visiting many treasured friends.

The last few months for Dennis were difficult and challenging on so many levels but as he said to me the day before he died “I just have to call on that inner strength.” And he did - the courage and strength that he showed to all of us was an inspiration to us all.

He was so greatly loved by so many of us, family and friends and this wonderful, kind, and gentle man will be sorely missed by all of us who knew and loved him.

Go in peace and with my blessing, dear brother.

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Before beginning, I’d like to acknowledge Msgr. Rossi’s gracious welcome. He has long been a true pastor to Dennis, Nancy, and Kimberly.  It’s most fitting that we celebrate my brother-in-law’s funeral in his parish church. Dennis was certainly attached to St. Michael’s—he insisted on coming here to Mass even after he and Nancy moved just two blocks away from another parish.

Dennis had a real bond to this community and was proud of his connection to the Knights of Columbus here.

The readings we’ve just heard come from three very different books of the Bible, but together, they tell the spiritual side of the story that Dennis’ sister Jean has beautifully recorded on the final pages of this funeral booklet.

Jean wrote, “The last few months for Dennis were difficult and challenging on so many levels.” Although he did not suffer long in the final stretch of his illness, he suffered much, which is why the first reading, from the Old Testament Book of Lamentations, gives voice to his experience.

There were certainly days when Dennis had no peace and may have felt bowed down with pain. But we can only really understand this in the way the author of Lamentations understood his own struggles.

Kimberly just read us ten verses from this unfamiliar Book of the Bible, traditionally seen as the Prophet Jeremiah’s meditation on the problem of affliction. But there’s something remarkable about those ten verses: the lament is four verses long, while the Prophet’s statement of hope – a dramatic turnaround – is six.

In the midst of pain, Jeremiah takes hold of himself and recognizes that the love of the Lord does not come to an end, and that God remains faithful in even the darkest times.

Nancy and Kimberly and others who spent time with Dennis during his illness know very well that he struggled to remain afloat emotionally and spiritually. I think that’s normal. But ultimately, he confronted the negative reality of his suffering with a positive outlook that inspired me very much.

By the time of our family Thanksgiving dinner, it was becoming obvious that Dennis was losing the battle against leukemia. He asked if he and I could talk so we sat together downstairs while dinner was being prepared. In that conversation, I learned what Dennis was really made of. He did not deny the gravity of his situation, nor give up hope; realistically, he reflected on the blessings of his life, speaking with gratitude for his wife and daughter, and all the good things he had enjoyed.

More recently, when his pain increased, Dennis was less mellow about this situation. But, when he was anointed with the oil of the Sacrament of the Sick, he continued to believe that affliction did not nullify the Good Shepherd’s care for him and God’s desire to lead him to green pastures and living water.

Jean tells how she and her brother were uprooted as youngsters, travelling through three countries before finding a permanent home in Canada. That was not easy for Dennis. The Letter to the Hebrews helps us make sense of his dislocation with the memorable words “here we have no lasting city”.

Here we have no lasting city, precisely because, as St. Paul says in another important text, our homeland is in Heaven (cf. Philippians 3:20). Dennis has not been uprooted this time, but repatriated.

Twice in his life, Dennis spoke to his sister about how he called on inner strength to face his difficulties. It was inner strength that helped him cope with boarding school, and the day before he died he told her he drew on that same strength.

What was the source of that strength? It’s not likely that a lonely boy turned to St. Matthew’s Gospel to find it. And yet God freely provides comfort and rest, whether we ask or not. In the Gospel we’ve read, Jesus thanks the Father for revealing hidden truths even to children. As we read elsewhere in Matthew’s Gospel, our Heavenly Father knows what we need before we ask him. (cf. 6:8)

God is the God of peace, the great shepherd of the sheep who helped Dennis to bear his yoke. The inner strength Dennis spoke about reflected his character, refined by hardship, but it came ultimately from a loving Father who watched over him throughout his life’s journey, giving him the grace of a loving wife and a lovely daughter. It came from a Christian life in which he worshiped faithfully and was strengthened by the Sacraments.

That loving Father speaks today to each of us, but particularly to Nancy and Kimberly, among the many others who mourn Dennis’ passing. We are entitled, like Jeremiah, to four verses of pain and sorrow. But let’s be sure to pray six verses of hope and gratitude for all Dennis was and all the blessings he received.

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